2023 has started out as the ‘Year of the Spare’ so far, with the press and TV full of everything to do with Prince Harry and Meghan, from Netflix’ six part series to TV interviews through to the release of his book ‘Spare’.
From the outset, I decided that I wanted to read the book for myself, rather than relying on what was written about in the media, or online and I am glad I did, as unsurprisingly, the press took the bits that were going to sound the most damaging and published them out of the context of how it was written to make it sound more damning.
There are a number of sections which gained the most coverage and I have decided to quote a couple of those bits in full and discuss how I understood them.
The first point of note was the whole introduction to Camilla and how he apparently did not want Charles to marry her, but without giving any context as to why, it was written as follows:-
When asked, Willy and I promised Pa that we would welcome Camilla into the family.
The only thing we asked in return was that he not marry her. You don’t need to remarry.
A wedding would cause controversy. It would incite the press. It would make people talk about Mummy, compare Mummy and Camilla and nobody wanted that.
We support you, we said. We endorse Camilla. Just please don’t marry her.
Spare, Part 1 Chapter 15
So, once the context is added back to the statement as to why they did not want Charles to marry Camilla, it’s a lot less “explosive” and I for one could totally agree with the point being raised and it seemed a more than reasonable request.
Both Harry and William had been trying to move on from the death of their mother and the marriage would no doubt trigger months, years of comparisons between the two woman and with each story, they would be taken back to that time in 1997 and the loss of their mother.
The second example received a lot of coverage in the media, both from” everyday people” and also people from a military background, both being very damming with their opinions.
Once again here is the extract with the surrounding context.
Afghanistan was a war of mistakes, a war of enormous collateral damage – thousands of innocents killed and maimed and that always haunted us. So my goal from the day I arrived was never to go to bed doubting that I’d done the right thing, that my targets had been correct, that I was firing on Taliban and only Taliban, no civilians nearby. I wanted to return to Britain with all my limbs, but more, I wanted to go home with my conscious intact. Which meant being aware of what I was doing and why I was doing it at all times.
Most soldiers can’t tell you precisely how much death is on their ledger. In battle conditions, there’s often a great deal of indiscriminate firing. But in the age of Apaches and laptops, everything I did in the course of two combat tours was recorded, time-stamped. I could always say precisely how many enemy combatants I’d killed. And I felt it vital never to shy away from that number.
So my number: Twenty-Five
Spare, Part 2, Chapter 57
I have no understanding of military life or what is and what is not acceptable to talk about in terms of numbers killed, but once again, I feel that once the context is added back into the “story” it becomes again less explosive, less like he is gloating over what he was saying and was trying to explain to people how he wanted to be a better soldier who caused less “collateral damage” to innocent people caught up in a conflict.
It’s totally possible that one rule of military life is to not discuss specifics, which is understandable, but when you look back to the days of the Afghanistan war and the multiple reports of “friendly-fire” related deaths, it’s understandable why Harry and possibly other people in his regiment wanted to try and do things differently, better perhaps.
There are also sections of the book which are truly heart-wrenching, moments such as where he is describing coming home, finding Meghan on the floor strongly considering ending her life due to the pressure put on her from the press in relation to things she has supposedly done, or based on her heritage back in America.
The book is not all doom and gloom however, there are plenty of light-hearted stories of good times he had with family and friends, moments that are clear have really gone on to forge him into the person he appears to be today.
I could quote and quote examples where his stories or explanations have been exploited or twisted in the press, but there is no point as the content should all be digested in the order it was written to get the full picture, then you, like me can decide on which side of the fence you sit on when it comes to this situation.
It has to be said that this is just Harry’s story and there is certainly an argument that if we were to totally believe everything written, without questioning it or considering an alternative argument, then we would be guilty of doing the exact same thing that Harry complains a lot about in the book.
I doubt that we will ever see or hear the other side of this argument as there is no way the Royal Family would allow a similar book from William who is a lot more “important” than Harry is and must follow the “rules” set by the heads of the family than Harry has had to as a “former Senior Royal”.
Personally, I do feel there does seem to be a lot of truth in what he is saying, especially when you consider the wall of silence that comes from the Royal Family when anything is written about any of the Members, from the (late) Queen herself all the way down to the “supporting Royals” of the extended Family.
The old “Never Complain Never Explain” rule they live by is most evident.
So sum up I would say the following:-
Does Harry at times come across as a bit spoiled? – in all honesty yes, but this could certainly come from the upbringing he has had (there are however plenty of examples of how he is also just like everyone else, shopping at the local grocery store or buying sofas in the sale at well-known online retailers).
Does Harry at times sound very paranoid about everything and everyone around him? – Once again the answer is yes and once again this opinion comes with the caveat that you have to consider what he has been through, the loss of his mother at a very young age, constant stories about what he has (or has not) done throughout his life (true stories and those made up by the press) and stories apparently being leaked from sources who he is supposed to be able to confide in. I can fully understand why he is this way and if I was to put myself into this position, I would no doubt act in the same way.
On thing that is not in doubt however and something that has made me have so much more respect for Harry is the strength he has found to protect his family in what have been the most trying of times.
The decisions he has had to make are not easy decisions (leaving the country of your birth, the country you represented in the military and to have pretty much nothing to do with those closest to you when growing up), but these decisions have been taken and the results have allowed himself and his family to have some peace and distance from stress that could have caused almost anyone to just give up on their life.
The book is the fastest selling non-fiction book of all time apparently, so there are bound to be many (many) second hand copies popping up in book stores and charity shops over the next few months so if you run into one, do pick up a copy and allow yourself to make up your own mind on this whole situation.
Overall Rating – 4.5 / 5.0
